Category Archives: Leadership

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A Simple Way to Say More Than Just “Thank You”

Sometimes “thank yous” can be pretty empty. I’ve experienced plenty of empty “thank yous” in my life, and I’m sure you have, too. A simple “thank you”…just those two words…may, at times, not be enough. One can almost always tell whether or not a “thank you” is sincere.

Thank You Green Road Sign with dramatic clouds and sky.

Sometimes someone says “thank you” because they’ve been told to, or they feel obligated, or they don’t know what else to say. It’s understandable. But I try not to get myself into a similar situation. When I say “thank you” to someone, I want them to know that I really mean it. If not, I try not to say anything at all.

Here’s how to make sure the recipient of your “thank you” knows that you are sincere:

Add a specific compliment to your “thank you.”

For instance, I know how intimidating it can be to preach in front of other pastors. So whenever I sit at the feet of another pastor and listen to his sermon, I always thank him for his message, and I add to my “thank you” a specific thing I liked about the sermon. It gives me the opportunity to listen carefully, and it provides affirmation for the one who has preached.

When our son, Ben, played his recent CD release show with his band, My Red and Blue, he made sure to thank each of his band mates for all they had done to help him. As he did so, he made sure to compliment them specifically for the way they had played, or the time they had put in, or all they had done to make the evening a success. It’s money in the bank. People are much more apt to loyal and helpful in the future if they sense your sincerity today.

So give it a try today. Add a specific compliment to your “thank you.” You’ll feel good about it, and the recipient of the “thank you” will feel truly thanked.

How do you make sure people know that your “thank yous” are sincere?

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You Never Know When You’ll Have an Impact

You never know when you’ll have an impact on someone, so keep your eyes open for opportunities. I’m not sure my eyes were open when I entered the college classroom to teach a theology class. There, sitting at the back of the room with one of his friends, was Tanner. Before the class even started Tanner began to engage me and the entire class with his humor. He was already joking about the amount of homework, or some inside joke he had with one of his friends, or what the first assignment was going to be.

Tanner

Of all the students in the class, Tanner was the one I thought I might impact the least. I wasn’t sure that he’d be engaged or anxious to learn what we had in front of us. But as the class proceeded over the next few months, I found Tanner to be thoughtful in his response (albeit, often with a joke included!), faithful in his studies, and ready to take on challenges.

It turned out that wasn’t the last time I had Tanner in one of my classes. Nor was it the last time I would encounter him in everyday life. There was the time my wife and I gave him and his roommates a large screen TV. There was the time I ran into him in the university library and had a great chat. There was the time he came and visited our new congregation in Florida, even after we had moved away from Milwaukee.

And there was the time he asked for support for his Kickstarter campaign to record a “spoken word” album…and the time he asked for a reference for a job he desperately wanted.

Then there was the time I opened up the CD packaging for his dream-fulfilling “spoken word” album, only to see my name listed amongst those he was “thanking.” It brought me almost to the point of tears. I wondered what I had done to be thanked. Really all I had done was recognize a person with unique gifts and talents, and encouraged him at times along the way to pursue his dreams. Apparently that encouragement meant something to Tanner. And it meant more to me than he will ever know that he simply thanked me for having a small part in pursuing his dream.

This is what all adults ought to do, not only with their own children, but with any younger people with whom they have influence. Encourage them to dream, and hope, and live, and love, and chase after what makes her heart fly or his adrenaline rush. It’s the reason one of the highlights of every month is to meet together with four young men who have become a part of my year-long mentoring group. We read. We encourage one another. We push each other. We joke around. We support hopes and dreams. We value open and honest discussions.

And I see right in front of me dreams being planned and pursued, and even coming true.

So thank you, Tanner, for the “thank you.” You have had an impact on me by making me realize that a little encouragement goes a long way. I will never forget the joy and laughter you brought to our classes there at good old CUW. But more than that, I’m looking forward to seeing where your life leads next.

And, by the way, Tanner also got the job.

Whom is it in your web of relationships that you can impact and encourage to chase after her or his dream?

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Ryan Braun, Aaron Rodgers, and the Price of True Friendship

Ryan Braun and Aaron Rodgers, the stars of my two favorite professional sports franchises, are in the midst of teaching us a lesson on the price of true friendship. I wonder how it will turn out.

Ascension Pentecost

To know me is to know that I am the die hard of all die hard Milwaukee Brewers fan. I have been a fan since they came to town in 1970. For thirteen years we held a partial season ticket package. I have all manner of clothing that reflects my fandom. My car now sports a Florida license plate on the back, and a Milwaukee Brewers license plate on the front.

Even after allegations of steroid use (and an overturned “failed test”) I supported the now-suspended Ryan Braun, naively believed him, and even defended him to those who (more rationally) didn’t believe his lies. I am hurt, disappointed, and still sorting through all my other feelings.

I don’t know Ryan Braun personally, but I’m certain those who do know him have feelings that are much more magnified than mine. In fact, some, including Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers, have come out and spoken about it. Rodgers is reportedly very disappointed that Braun repeatedly lied to his face. The quarterback says that he believes in forgiveness, but won’t say if he still considers Braun a friend.

It seems to me that’s exactly what true friendship is all about. Far be it from me to criticize my favorite football player and the “idol” of all “Packer Nation,” but true friendship means forgiving and forgetting. It means doing whatever one can to “put the best construction” on our friend’s behavior, call him to repentance, help him in his rehabilitation, and stick with him through thick and thin.

True friendship has a price. Sometimes it costs our comfort, a bit of our own dignity, and maybe even part of our reputation. In fact, true friendship means backing our friends with our very life.

Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). And we all know what He did for His friends.

Now, I’m certainly not putting Aaron Rodgers on par with Jesus. But if I would ever mess up as publicly as did Ryan Braun, I would want (no, need) a friend who stands by me, forgives me, calls me to repentance, and helps me to rehabilitate my life.

I bet you’d want the same.

And it’s actually what we get. Regardless of whether we mess up publicly or privately, we all mess up (i.e., sin). We all need the perfect Friend who is, in fact, not only willing but in actuality does give His life. We have a Savior who has given His life for us. He covers over the ugliness of our sin, forgives us, enables our repentance, and rehabilitates our lives.

I’m told that Aaron Rodgers is a Christian. In light of that, I ask you, Aaron, to not only forgive your friend, Ryan, but to continue to be a friend to him.

In your opinion, what is the essence of true friendship?

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The Building Block of Building Trust

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about trust. It’s because I’ve been witnessing far too much mistrust. Mistrust makes progress so much more difficult. It creates more hurdles than there need be. It erects barriers that are difficult to climb.

Turst

As I sit back and watch certain circles of mistrust, I think to myself: “I know both of these people, and they’re both good people. Why don’t they trust one another?” 

What it boils down to is that they really don’t know one another. I can remember being on the ground floor of building a community organizing group in Milwaukee. We hired an extremely well-qualified individual to lead our organization. He and I seemed to have little in common. We liked each other well enough, but I certainly never thought we would become friends.

That’s exactly why he intentionally took the time to sit down with me, one-on-one, and took the time to get to me…and I him. We got to know each other not as “labels,” but as people, individuals with families,with likes and dislikes, with passions and pursuits. As a result, we have become great friends.

The key to trust is getting to know someone else as a person. I love the old quote: “Be nice, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

  • Don’t mistrust
  • Don’t dislike
  • Don’t look askance
  • Don’t think you can’t be a friend to someone….

Until you have taken the time to really get to know someone.

Trust makes the world a much better place. It makes progress easier. It makes hurdles disappear. It tears down barriers.

Whom is it that you most mistrust right now? What would happen if you sat down, face to face, and really got to know her or him?

I challenge you to give it a try. You may be greatly surprised at the results.

At the very least, you will develop an empathy for the hard battle someone else is fighting. 

What advice do you have for building trust?

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How to Affirm Harmony and Unity

You wouldn’t think that riding your bike would provide examples of harmony and unity. Just steps away from our house is a bike trail with incredible vegetation, vistas that provide sweeping views, and access to a pier that goes out into a large lake filled with jumping fish, wetland birds, alligators, and wildlife of all kinds. The other day I saw a turkey on the shore. One evening I watched the sun dip down into the far side of the lake.

Harmony and Unity

One of the best parts of any bike ride on that trail, is spending time out on that pier watching how the unity and harmony of nature plays itself out. There is an ecosystem that works the way in which it was intended by the Creator. There is life. And there is death. There is beauty. And in the midst of that beauty, ugly things, too.

In other words, it’s a mess. Just like life.

Yet in all of it there is harmony and unity that exhibits the way all things work together for good.

I have now had eight months to become part of the ecosystem of a new (for me) congregation. I have been serving, teaching, preaching, visiting, listening, asking, working, learning, and living with the people of Ascension Lutheran Church.  We’ve been trying to put the pieces together. I feel as though I’ve been placed into an ecosystem that had already been working well, but was seeking ways to find even greater harmony and unity.

For months we have been having meetings and events designed to bring greater harmony and unity into an ecosystem where people have been brought together for a specific purpose. It’s not always easy. Where there are personalities, changes, and opinions, there are ups and downs, highs and lows. But where people have a common there is always a harmony and unity whether or not it is realized.

Last month we got together as a congregation to talk about unity, harmony, and purpose. It was an event that was well-received and met with enthusiasm. From the people who set up the room and put together the luncheon, to those who sat at tables laughing and talking with one another, to artists who made balloon animals and took photos, there was a spirit of unity and harmony.

But the event ended in a way that demonstrated the unity and harmony that some may not have realized was present. Members of our traditional choir and our praise band came together at the front of the room to lead the entire group in singing, “Now Thank We All Our God.” Everyone willingly and happily joined hands together all the way around the room in an outward demonstration of unity and harmony.

God demonstrates unity and harmony in many and various ways. When His baptized people come together there is no greater unity and harmony here on earth. It isn’t always pretty. It isn’t always easy. Sometimes it’s even ugly and death-defying.

The ecosystem of God’s church ought to be demonstrated far more than it often is. 

Where do you see harmony and unity demonstrated in the church, or otherwise?

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How to Make a Difference Where It’s Really Needed

We hear too much of it lately. Last week in our suburban Orlando community, a man went into a beauty salon with a gun, killed his girlfriend and two others, then went home and turned the gun on himself. In light of these kinds of events a community feels helpless.

Within a day or two, one of the local pastors contacted me asking if we might want to get other clergy together and have a prayer vigil. So we did some quick planning, inviting, and writing. We brought members of our churches. First responders attended. The mayor of our city was there. Media covered the event as well.

We did the only thing that could be done in such a seemingly helpless and hopeless situation. We prayed.

After the vigil, everything honestly seemed the same. People milled around. The family’s of the victims were still missing their loved ones. Reporters did some more interviewing. The fire truck and ambulance pulled away. A few people left remembrances at the front of the beauty salon.

Everything was actually now different. Faithful people prayed. The Lord listened. And He will answer those prayers. He promises to do so.

We prayed for healing, peace, for our first responders, and for hope. I, for one, believe that the Lord is the One who gives all of those gifts:

  • Those who hurt are healed by His grace, sometimes using the instrument of modern medicine or psychological therapy, sometimes using miraculous means.
  • Those who need peace will receive it from the only source of true peace.
  • First responders are themselves a gift from God. He uses them to protect us and to bring us help when we need it.
  • Those who need hope, even in desperate situations will receive it from the promise of eternal life through Jesus who gave His life to secure certain and lasting hope.

In the end, we didn’t make a difference. A difference was made because God was and is present through His Word which brings healing, peace, protection, and hope.

Where do you see the need for a difference to be made?

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5 Blogs You Ought to Be Reading

At the Apple Store today I received incredible service from an employee who just happens to be a young, upstart filmmaker. I give the guy all kinds of credit for following his passion and pursuing his dream. He and a couple of friends are starting their own company even as we speak. I have a heart for young people who are doing the one thing they are passionate about. We have two children who are doing just that.

So while we were talking and closing the transaction, I wanted to do whatever I could to help him out. I recommended that he sign up to receive Seth Godin’s blog every day. I know for a fact that if he reads it, and follows what Seth says, it will help his young company thrive. Godin’s advice isn’t always easy, but it’s always right on target.

It dawned on me that since I have been on Twitter, I have learned more than I could have ever imagined from some fantastic blogs that I discovered there. I want you to reap the benefits, too. So here is a list of five blogs that I almost can’t live without. Pick and choose the ones that are best for you. They may not all fit your station in life, but there just may be one that does.

1. Seth Godin This blog, by the bestselling author if Linchpin and Purple Cow, comes to your inbox every single day. It has to do with marketing, standing out, doing life and business in a purple cow kind of way in this web 2.0 world.

2. Michael Hyatt This blog on Christian leadership applies even to those who don’t feel as though they are leaders. It applies to many areas of life, and may just get you to carry out your own “life plan.”

3. Allison Vesterfelt  Ally’s writing tugs at my heart just about every time I read it. Her blog is so diverse that both my 23-year-old daughter and I love it. You will think deeper thoughts about both yourself and your faith life when you read this blog.

4. Jon Acuff This bestselling author of Stuff Christians Life and Quitter is brilliantly funny with perceptive commentary on the Christian faith and life.

5. Donald Miller Another bestselling author, Miller wrote Blue Like Jazz (which is now also a feature film) and A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. Now he has rebranded himself to encourage people to “live better stories.” If you read his blog you almost certainly will.

Click one of the links above and begin exploring. Your day will be better for it. Your life may even be better for it.

Which blog would you recommend that others read?

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The Sentence of Our Generation

When Neil Armstrong died last week I was reminded of his famous words when he set foot on the moon. The words he uttered became one of the most famous sentences of all time. He said,

“One small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.”

This sentence has defined my generation. As young children we sat and watched our black and white TV’s as Neil Armstrong took that famous step. Now we make giant leaps of our own, holding tiny computers in our hands. Just last week my best friend in San Francisco took me on a tour of his house as I watched on my iPhone. He was 2800 miles away. He could see me and I could see him. I felt like Dick Tracy.

Our children barely know what it’s like not to have a cell phone. Now they wonder how technology will impact their children. I can only imagine.

It seems as though giant leaps are made almost daily. But far too often those leaps are made by others. While our own hopes and dreams remain just that — hopes and dreams — others are working to make their hopes realities. They are persistent. They show up. They make the best use of their time.

They take the first step.

Sometimes just a small step is actually a giant leap:

  • Taking an idea and writing it down.
  • Planning the next step.
  • Building a model.
  • Having a meeting.
  • Following up.
  • Doing something uncomfortable.
  • Taking the risk by telling someone else.

Neil Armstrong could never have landed on the moon had someone not done the above things. Your goal may not be to land on the moon, but it could be something just as significant or life-changing.

Today I want to nudge you to bring forward idea you have in the back of your mind and take the first step toward making it a reality. Write it down. Plan. Tell someone else. Ask them to hold you accountable and follow up.

Take a risk and take a small step that just might be the giant leap this world…or maybe just your small corner of the world…really needs.

It may just be the impetus for the sentence that will define this next generation.

Go. Now. Do it.

What small step have you taken that, in the end, became a giant leap?

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If He Can Do It, I Can Do It

While you were watching the Olympics this summer, did you see the Nike commercial? You know…the one with the overweight kid “running” toward the camera? Well, really not running…more like shuffling. He barely puts one foot in front of the other while a voice talks about “greatness.” The commercial ends with the words: “We’re all capable of (greatness). All of us.”

That. Commercial. Motivated. Me. It wasn’t so much the words. In fact, I don’t think I even paid attention to the words any of the 83 times I saw the commercial. What I said to myself every time I saw that commercial was: “If he can do that, I can do that.”

I have been a sporadic “runner” off and on for many years now…more “on” than “off.” But over the past year or so it’s been very easy for me to find one excuse or another: “I’ll never be able to run again like I used to.” “I have this ‘fatigue’ that the doctors can’t figure out so I might as well give in to it.” “It’s too cold.” “It’s too hot.” “It won’t help me lose weight, anyway.”

So my running has been more sporadic than ever. But then I saw the kid on the Nike commercial. If he can do it, I can do it. Over the past couple of weeks, more often than not, I have been getting up, slipping on the running shoes, beating the heat with an early morning venture into the misty air, and putting one foot in front of the other. If you saw me “running” you’d see that it’s really not unlike the kid on the commercial.

But if he can do it, I can do it.

You know what? It’s really just about showing up. Making it a pattern. Creating a habit.

I haven’t noticed any big improvement, or that it’s becoming any easier. In fact, I wish I’d see at least some improvement. But I just. keep. thinking. about. that. kid.

If he can do it, I can do it. 

Nike says that it’s about “greatness.” I’d say that

  • It’s more about a competitive spirit and not giving up.
  • It’s about showing up.
  • It’s about making helpful habits.
  • It’s about using whatever it takes to motivate oneself.
  • It’s about lacing up the shoes and getting out there: hot or cold, rain or shine, energetic or tired.

If he can do it, I can do it.

And so can you.

What is motivating you today to move forward?

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Don’t Wish Your Life Away

Yesterday I realized that I’ve still got a whole suitcase full of clothes that I haven’t even opened since I’ve been here in Florida. Half of the clothes that I’m wearing right now are either in the dresser that I call “the floor” or in another suitcase. It’s definitely evidence that we are living temporarily.

We’re using furniture that’s not our own, silverware that isn’t ours, and are living a small apartment that we are only renting for (hopefully) a short period of time. It’s not easy. Have you ever just really wanted to use your own “stuff”: golf clubs, cook ware, a bike, or your computer? It just makes you feel a bit “out of sorts.” We’re waiting for our house to be built and the process is painfully slow. A watched pot boils faster.

But it’s all sort of like planting seeds in the ground and waiting for them to grow. You know that eventually something wonderful is going to pop out of the ground. You simply have to be patient until that day arrives.

As my wife’s grandmother used to say: “Don’t wish your life away.” There is plenty to be excited about for today. What is happening under the soil as a seed takes root is all about:

  • building strength
  • laying a foundation
  • measured growth
  • daily nurture
  • preparing for next stages

I only wrote that last paragraph because I have to remind myself of that principle. I am, by nature, an impatient person. But in my heart of hearts I know that this time of transition is for me

  • building strength
  • laying a foundation
  • measured growth
  • daily nurture
  • preparing me for upcoming stages in my life

I was reminded of all this by one of my favorite bloggers, Allison Vesterfelt, who recently wrote that life “never feels dreamy while you’re living it,” and “dreams come true while you’re taking out the trash, or doing dishes.” Jesus said, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (Matthew 6:33-34).

Seek His kingdom today. Tomorrow there may just be a shoot sticking out the ground, a branch growing off of a stem, or even a flower blooming at the top of your life’s plant.

What are YOU anticipating, that can just as well be “left until tomorrow”?